Eventually I got to working with a gang, and that was my downfall. Was too white to affiliate, but they all liked me and called me ‘White Jason’. As a relatively clean-cut white boy who could do dirt and still talk pretty, I was useful. You might have sat next to me on a city bus in Nashville around 02-03, and you would be shocked at all the felonies I was carrying in my backpack. Dope. Guns. More Dope. Point A to Point B. It was a job, and I was good at it.
I need to say that I never killed anyone, never hurt a woman or a child. I know that doesn’t mitigate shit, but I did have a sort of a code, only robbed bad people. Tried just being a burglar, and hit two civilian homes, but I just couldn’t stand how it made me feel. Those two licks were the only ones that actually felt like I was doing something wrong to someone.
In 2004 I walked out of prison a free man, and set about learning how to grow the fuck up. I had met God, then decided to pursue Him and see how that’d go.
God is Real. GOD IS REAL.
Wrote those words a hundred or a thousand times in my first Bible, the one I studied in Jail. It was a filthy paperback NIV that had been around, but I read it from ‘In the beginning’ to ‘Amen’. Studying that book for dear life, I took dozens of pages of notes, writing double lines in tiny print.
My second Bible was an NIV, a branded Bible, camouflaged and with inserts for hunters. I carried pictures my girls in it, wrote in all the margins. I loved that Bible, and carried in my back pocket everywhere I went for two years. Kicked in doors with that Bible in my pocket.
God saw me coming, brought me to an Evangelical Christian ministry who published books and sent mission trips overseas. These folks changed my life. Brought me off the streets, civilized me as much as I could. I accepted Jesus Christ while I was with them and read another Bible- a fine looking leatherbound NASB that fit comfortably in my back pocket. They gave me a job, and a family of sorts. I got to meet pastors and preachers from all of the world. I learned lots about money and wealth. I did my best to just conform and go along, I really did, but that’s just not my nature. Over time their doctrine just got farther and farther away from the spirit of the Scripture, and the spirit of Christs message, and we parted ways.
My last year in a ‘real school’ was 7th grade at J.T. Moore. I have no high school diploma, no college degree, not a single certification.
At this point I contract for the largest technical service providers in the country, installing, troubleshooting, and repairing network and telephone communication systems. I’m entirely self taught. Have earned hundreds of five-star reviews from clients and I maintain a solid 4.8 across the board.
Yeah, okay so I found God and read the Scriptures. I overcame poverty, educated myself, worked hard and became a pro in my chosen field. okay… so what?
I brought so many bad habits from my childhood into adulthood, keeping them long after they became a detriment. As hard I worked to overcome a generally shitty hand in life, I knew I was only going so far. Drunkards, addicts, fellas who wanna run the streets and hang with thugs- they just cannot go where I need to go.
It wasn’t easy, but it was a conscious effort to GET REAL, to become better, to shed bad habits, to learn new ones.
I didn’t give a shit I was 40 years old, broke, in poor health- God would see me through. I moved to a new place, sought after God. Started working out. Sought God. Got clean. Went after The Big Guy.
Alright, so Ima spend the whole rest of my life doing Jesus Stuff, trying like hell to impress God. I’m definitely going to talk some shit, maybe cause trouble in the Christian ‘community’, but in order for to do it right I need to make myself uncensorable. The internet is a complex place to navigate, and Ima need some tools and gonna have to learn to use them. And I’m definitely going to get censored because WTF is happening in the world?!
So I’m starting here. ChristP2P is a sling, and each post there is a pebble. I been practicing in my backyard so far but shortly I’m going hunting IE I’m going to verbally and Scripturally shit all over the people who are ruining the whole world.