Grief Over Miscarried Babies’ Bodies and the Christian Burial Left Undone

The author describes a painful moment during a doctor’s appointment after a miscarriage. When she asked what would happen to her baby’s body, the doctor said it would go out with medical waste. Her question felt small to her at the time, yet years later she regrets the shame she felt about asking it, because it was the most important question she had that week.

She explains that she and her family never had the chance to bury their miscarried babies in a Christian burial. They honored them through private memorials, prayers, and symbolic remembrances, trusting that their children had entered eternity with the Father. Still, she describes this as an ongoing grief rather than guilt. She affirms her hope in heaven, where there is no death and no need for burial, yet she says that the loss of a proper burial remains real for her.

Drawing on the Feast of All Souls, the author reflects on how the community’s treatment of the dead reflects how it values bodies as image bearers. She points to the funeral rite as a way to surround the actual remains with love and seriousness, guiding the living through grief. Without that ritual, she recalls feeling stuck, lonely, and unsure whether others cared, since people did not know how to comfort her. She also notes that scripture remembers the dead by name and that burial can matter, citing Abraham’s purchase of a field to bury Sarah.

The post closes with a memory of visiting historic cemeteries in Salem, Massachusetts, where she prayed at the graves of children and their mothers. She imagines a future meeting in heaven, where those mothers and children will be reunited with her and sing together without tears.

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