Mennonite Pastor Reflects on Church Debates Over Sexuality as He Nears Retirement

Jeryl Hollinger, pastor of Mountain View Mennonite Church in Kalispell, Montana, wrote a personal reflection after returning from the Special Session of the Delegate Assembly in Kansas City, Missouri, held in May. He wrote that the weekend’s discussions prompted him to think back over his years in pastoral ministry, and that the subject before the assembly was polity around human sexuality, which he described as a broader and more inclusive discussion than earlier ones.

Hollinger recalled that he was ordained in the summer of 1983 and attended his first Mennonite Church convention that year, in Bethlehem, Pennsylvania. He said he was surprised to hear people debating homosexuality there, and that he had hoped the matter would be settled and would never be something he had to address. He recalled an elderly man at that convention who urged caution and described the matter as pastoral rather than a question of doctrine and polity. Hollinger wrote that he understood the point only later.

He said that after a sermon in which he spoke harshly about homosexuality, a person asked how his words might have affected congregants who were struggling with their sexuality. He wrote that he had not believed anyone in his congregation was in that situation, and that he began to soften his language. He said members then began coming to his office to speak about their own lives. He described hearing confidences he would not share, and a common experience of confusion, pain and loneliness among people who still wanted to belong to the church. He wrote that in two cases, people who had sought professional help died by suicide. He said these experiences had changed him.

Hollinger wrote that he found the church was not a safe place for people carrying these struggles, and that he had questioned the church’s integrity. He acknowledged that he had contributed to that climate himself during part of his ministry. He said he regretted those failures and was now less inclined to offer quick answers or judgment.

In the essay, Hollinger wrote that he had come to see human sexuality as more varied than a male and female binary, and he described this as an area of discovery. He also shared a conversation with an older woman in his congregation, who told him that such matters had long existed and had once been accepted without becoming divisive, with the difference now being that they are discussed openly. Hollinger wrote that he questioned whether silence about that diversity had been more kind. He said he believed the church was beginning to move away from centering on rules and polity, and he expressed thankfulness for the church’s presence during his own journey.

The essay notes that its views belong to the author and do not represent the views of the Mennonite Church USA Executive Board or staff.

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