Book Review: A Practical Guide for Engaged Couples Balancing Faith and Real-Life Questions

The author opens by noting that Christians can go wrong in two opposite directions: overthinking things in an effort to be different from the world, or failing to think carefully enough and moving ahead without bringing decisions before God. The post then turns to Should we Get Engaged by Bill and Mindy Meier, which the author sees as falling somewhere between those two extremes, in a good way. Drawing on years of reading about relationships, marriage, and singleness, the author says this book stands apart from both heavily Bible-based guides and vaguer, Christian-flavoured self-help titles.

The authors bring decades of pastoral and campus ministry experience with young couples facing major life decisions. The book offers 50 questions, grouped into nine categories, that are meant to prompt honest thinking and conversation between partners on matters they may never have raised. The categories cover areas such as compatibility, family of origin, finances, physical and emotional intimacy, and a final section for people who have been married before.

The author admits that, as someone who enjoys weighty theological and historical reading, they were initially disappointed that the book does not explore the reasons behind each question in more depth. On reflection, however, they came to see that this is not the book’s purpose. At around 150 pages, it is a practical, accessible manual designed to get readers thinking for themselves and talking with each other, rather than a theological treatise on marriage. The author describes the questions as important ones that, if left unasked, can lead to conflict and harm in a marriage.

The post suggests the book is “secular” in its direct willingness to address questions every couple faces, whether or not they are Christian, yet also deeply Christian in its aim of supporting strong marriages where both partners grow together in faith. The author recommends it for engaged couples and those preparing for marriage, and suggests pairing it with a book such as Tim and Kathy Keller’s The Meaning of Marriage for readers who want the biblical reasoning behind these topics.

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