“The Starling Girl” Explores Church Fundamentalism and Sexual Dynamics Through a Teen’s Struggle

Laurel Parmet, an agnostic filmmaker from Los Angeles, found herself immersed in the world of a conservative nondenominational church in Oklahoma in 2013. Initially drawn to the group for research on a short film about rodeo culture, Parmet was surprised by the church’s extreme beliefs, including the idea that women should avoid leading men into temptation and adhere to strict modesty standards. Despite her initial shock, she recognized parallels between her own experiences and those of the women she met.

Parmet’s personal history included a complex relationship with an older man during her teenage years, which left her with lingering guilt she could not explain. Her conversations with the Oklahoma women prompted her to reconsider the shame she felt over a situation in which she had clearly been taken advantage of. She observed that sexual shame and the pursuit of male approval are universal experiences for women, regardless of their upbringing.

These reflections inspired Parmet to create “The Starling Girl,” a feature-length film she wrote and directed. Set in rural Kentucky, the film follows 17-year-old Jem as she navigates the tension between her self-expression and the expectations imposed by her parents and her church’s fundamentalist teachings. Jem’s life changes when Owen, a charismatic and married youth pastor, develops feelings for her.

The film portrays both Jem and Owen with nuance, highlighting their internal conflicts. Owen is struggling with the restrictive doctrines of his pastor father and a failing marriage, while Jem grapples with her own desires and the constraints of her faith. Parmet deliberately avoided presenting the relationship as a simple case of abuse versus innocence, instead capturing the complexity of their dynamic.

Parmet emphasized that framing abuse in black-and-white terms can make it harder for victims to acknowledge and process their experiences. By depicting Jem’s agency and the moral ambiguity of the situation, the film seeks to reflect the broader cultural tensions surrounding sexuality, power, and faith.

The story of “The Starling Girl” offers a window into the lives of individuals caught between personal desire and religious doctrine, shedding light on the ways in which fundamentalist beliefs can shape and constrain human relationships. It also raises questions about accountability, consent, and the role of community in supporting or enabling harmful behaviors.

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