Toronto, Canada, megachurch The Meeting House debates whether pastor Bruxy Cavey’s relationship was an affair or sexual abuse

Days after the pastor of one of Canada’s largest churches resigned following accusations of sexual misconduct, The Meeting House in Toronto held a special online meeting on Tuesday, March 8. There, the church announced that an independent, third-party investigation had found that Bruxy Cavey, the church’s long-haired senior leader, had carried on a yearslong sexual relationship with a member of the congregation who had sought counseling from him.

The findings have since led to a public dispute within the church over how the relationship should be described. On Wednesday, Danielle Strickland, a former part-time pastor at the church, posted an hourlong video on Instagram saying that the church had not adequately advocated for the victim, who has described the relationship as “clergy sex abuse.” Strickland had taken the victim’s account to the church’s board after the victim approached her with it last year.

Cavey also wrote a blog post on Wednesday. “Some years ago, I had an extramarital affair,” he wrote. “This adulterous relationship is my greatest failure, my darkest sin, and I take full responsibility for my actions.”

Strickland said that calling the relationship an affair, or even sexual harassment, as the church has done, is not accurate. “The whole truth needs to be told,” she said. “To not name what it is is not to care for and help the victim. It is to re-victimize people because you refuse to name it.” According to Strickland, the victim was 23 and Cavey was 46 when the sexual relationship allegedly began. She said the victim asked the board to define what happened as “clergy sexual abuse” and wrote a statement to that effect, which she asked the board chair to read aloud. The board declined to do so.

Maggie John, who chairs the Meeting House board, said at Tuesday’s meeting that Cavey’s actions were not an affair because they took place in the context of clergy counseling. She said the board chose to keep the investigator’s wording, which found that Cavey had committed “sexual harassment” and “abuse of power.” “It was important for us to maintain the integrity of the independent third-party nature of the investigation by sticking with the findings of the investigator,” John said. The meeting was broadcast on YouTube.

John also said that Be In Christ, an Anabaptist denomination to which the church belongs, had removed Cavey’s ministerial credentials. Charles Mashinter, the denomination’s executive director, confirmed that Cavey’s pastoral credentials were revoked, meaning he cannot serve in another Be In Christ church. John added that the church has removed dozens of short videos of Cavey’s teachings from its website.

Cavey is one of Canada’s best-known church leaders. He became senior pastor of Upper Oaks Community Church in 1997, and the congregation later changed its name to The Meeting House. The church grew rapidly as it sought to reach people who had become alienated from Christianity and church tradition, and it now has about 5,000 members who attend services at 19 campuses. Cavey is also the author of the popular book “The End of Religion: Encountering the Subversive Spirituality of Jesus.”

In her video, Strickland questioned the board’s effort to present Cavey’s departure as a resignation and asked why there had been no discussion of the financial terms of his exit. She referred to the victim by the biblical name Hagar and launched a website, hagarsvoice.com, where she said the victim’s statement and other documents would be posted. “If I am to give her a platform, then there could be some correcting of the power imbalance,” Strickland said. “Maybe I can help model for the Meeting House what solidarity with the victim looks like.” Naming the relationship plainly is, in Strickland’s view, a matter of speaking the truth in love (Ephesians 4:15). Strickland, who was traveling in Florida, did not immediately respond to emailed questions.

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